the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
