apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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