i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
