i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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