I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
