you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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