she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
