were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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