The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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