If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
