when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
