Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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