There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
