i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
