i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
