there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We are all done wearing pants today
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