i permit you to call me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
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