So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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