i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
