I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
