his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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