Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
