North Korea, Best Korea!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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