the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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