pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
