Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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