But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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