it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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