Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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