I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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