He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
