She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
