Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
