I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
