since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
