Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
