i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just threw up on my dentist
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i love accidental penises.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
