Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
