apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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