So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
