i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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