I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
