i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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