That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
