Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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