I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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