with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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