How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
