It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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