Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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