New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
