chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
