don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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