All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
