Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
