I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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