Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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