Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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